There must a pun in that name (right?). I'm just not getting it. What am I missing?
No, no pun. I tried but wasn't able to come up with one so I just re-arranged the letters so no one would know it was Daniel Synder. Oopps...I didn't mean to spill the beans...
I have a question for an advice columnist to advise me about a certain situation, but I'm not sure about asking an advice columnist for advice because I might not like the advice an advice columnist would advise me to do. Can you give me some advice and advise me what to do?
Signed,
A. D. Vice-Lacking
Dear Vice-Lacking,
Uh, hullo?! The answer is in your name! You need a bad habit. That should help you deal with ANY situation.
XOXO,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
C-Dawg wrote:Dear Tipsy,
I've been hanging out at the strip club with a couple of buddies for over a week, drinking beer and supporting the single moms. But now, my ass and eyes are getting sore from sitting, lack of sleep and the week-long bender. To top it off, our credit card is maxed and I'm almost of of $1 bills. What should I do?
Signed,
Sick Puppy
Hey Hound Dog,
Quit yer cryin'! You're not sick. You need to build up endurance!
Here's the plan. Start with a couple hours every other day, then start adding more hours, more days... until you've got the weeklong camp out attained. BUT WHY STOP THERE?
How about a month? Make it a fundraiser! Get sponsors! GET SHIRTS! But watch out for those bootleggers... Damb Quitterpalooza!
Why are you still reading??? GO! GO! GO!
Mousey-love,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
Every day, I find that I am covered in cheese especially in my hair. I don't know who throws it but I think I know who is doing it. How should I confront this person?
Sincerely,
Cheesehead.
Dear Cheesy,
You say this like it's a problem! FREE CHEESE! Count yourself lucky in this economy.
Okay, so you don't like carrying a snack around on you? Shave your head OR wear a raincoat and rainhat when this person is around.
Cheddar-love and all mine,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
For some reason I find myself drawn to critters that don't seem to have any real jobs or purpose other than to mosey around, spend time in a tiki bar, spend money at stripper clubs, and inflate themselves where ever there are grass skirts, coconut bras, and liquor. I find that my life just isn't fulfilled until I have been able to see them, read about what they are doing, and wish I was with them. Do you think this is strange? My therapist thinks so, but I think he just wants my money.
Sincerely,
Vicariously Crittered
Dear, oh dear...
What's strange is that you even QUESTION this! I mean, what the frak! These aren't JUST critters. These are THE MUTHAFRAKKIN CRITTERS!!!
As long as you're "drawn" to them, maybe you should try drawing a few strips. That Surfpirate can use a hand (or paw, or claw, or webbed foot) here and there. Why do you think I got hired at The Tiki Times?
XOXO,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
Sometimes I'm just driving along minding my own business and I suddenly feel like I'm in a neighborhood where I just don't belong. Did the Welcome Wagon always have flashing lights on top?
Sincerely,
A Safe Driver
Dear Safe Driver,
I don't know how safe you think you are, but here's a test.
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance
Why are you driving anyway? Get a bike. I know a couple of folks in Critterville Cove who can hook ya up!
Mice-without-hats love,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
pair8head wrote:Dear Tipsy Dear Tipsy
you won't believe this
but my stomach makes noises
whenever I kiss.
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
but my stomach tells me
to write you instead.
Signed
Noisemaker
Dear Noisy Boy,
I BELIEVE YOU!
And I believe you've got some wires crossing. See, you love your girlfriend AND you love food; therefore you get a rumbly in your tumbly when you express love to your girl.
You may find a really great sammich is much more effective than Viagra.
Much munchies and love,
Tipsy
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
C-Dawg wrote:Dear Tipsy,
I've been hanging out at the strip club with a couple of buddies for over a week, drinking beer and supporting the single moms. But now, my ass and eyes are getting sore from sitting, lack of sleep and the week-long bender. To top it off, our credit card is maxed and I'm almost of of $1 bills. What should I do?
Signed,
Sick Puppy
Hey Hound Dog,
Quit yer cryin'! You're not sick. You need to build up endurance!
Here's the plan. Start with a couple hours every other day, then start adding more hours, more days... until you've got the weeklong camp out attained. BUT WHY STOP THERE?
How about a month? Make it a fundraiser! Get sponsors! GET SHIRTS! But watch out for those bootleggers... Damb Quitterpalooza!
Why are you still reading??? GO! GO! GO!
Mousey-love,
Tipsy
Thank Gawd it's Friday....time to start training!!!!!
C-Dawg wrote:Dear Tipsy,
I've been hanging out at the strip club with a couple of buddies for over a week, drinking beer and supporting the single moms. But now, my ass and eyes are getting sore from sitting, lack of sleep and the week-long bender. To top it off, our credit card is maxed and I'm almost of of $1 bills. What should I do?
Signed,
Sick Puppy
Hey Hound Dog,
Quit yer cryin'! You're not sick. You need to build up endurance!
Here's the plan. Start with a couple hours every other day, then start adding more hours, more days... until you've got the weeklong camp out attained. BUT WHY STOP THERE?
How about a month? Make it a fundraiser! Get sponsors! GET SHIRTS! But watch out for those bootleggers... Damb Quitterpalooza!
Why are you still reading??? GO! GO! GO!
Mousey-love,
Tipsy
Thank Gawd it's Friday....time to start training!!!!!
A puppy who listens??? tee hee
"hmm hmm la la la hmmm" MOUSEY KA-POW!!! "hmm hmm la la la hmmm" -moi!
Dear Tipsy Dear Tipsy
well I never thought
that me and my girlfriend
would ever get caught.
We were out in the backseat
just shooting the breeze
with her hair up in curlers
and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married.
SAVE THE EARTH
It's the only Planet that has chocolate.
Ever since Critterpalooza,I havent been able to get the taste of my friends Smokin Ballz out of my mouth. Im home and and i crave to have one but I cant find them any where. I thought id try to make my own but I just cant get my Ballz to smoke. Where am I going wrong?
Ever since Critterpalooza,I havent been able to get the taste of my friends Smokin Ballz out of my mouth. Im home and and i crave to have one but I cant find them any where. I thought id try to make my own but I just cant get my Ballz to smoke. Where am I going wrong?
Ever since Critterpalooza,I havent been able to get the taste of my friends Smokin Ballz out of my mouth. Im home and and i crave to have one but I cant find them any where. I thought id try to make my own but I just cant get my Ballz to smoke. Where am I going wrong?
Smokeless in Seattle
Dude....that's just wrong
Sometimes wrong is funny. Im glad you appreciate my gutter humor.
