SAMPLES. Ummmm, these are actual letters that were sent to "Dear Abby" (but you get the idea of what we're looking for).
Dear Tipsy.
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure the baby I am carrying is his.
Dear Tipsy,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
I have a question for an advice columnist to advise me about a certain situation, but I'm not sure about asking an advice columnist for advice because I might not like the advice an advice columnist would advise me to do. Can you give me some advice and advise me what to do?
Dear Tipsy,
I've been hanging out at the strip club with a couple of buddies for over a week, drinking beer and supporting the single moms. But now, my ass and eyes are getting sore from sitting, lack of sleep and the week-long bender. To top it off, our credit card is maxed and I'm almost of of $1 bills. What should I do?
Signed,
Sick Puppy
Every day, I find that I am covered in cheese especially in my hair. I don't know who throws it but I think I know who is doing it. How should I confront this person?
Sincerely,
Cheesehead.
If you want an experience, go to a Jimmy Buffett concert.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For some reason I find myself drawn to critters that don't seem to have any real jobs or purpose other than to mosey around, spend time in a tiki bar, spend money at stripper clubs, and inflate themselves where ever there are grass skirts, coconut bras, and liquor. I find that my life just isn't fulfilled until I have been able to see them, read about what they are doing, and wish I was with them. Do you think this is strange? My therapist thinks so, but I think he just wants my money.
Sincerely,
Vicariously Crittered
well, ummmmmmm, yah, I guess I better come up with something witty to put in this spot since everyone is reading it.......
C-Dawg wrote:Dear Tipsy,
I've been hanging out at the strip club with a couple of buddies for over a week, drinking beer and supporting the single moms. But now, my ass and eyes are getting sore from sitting, lack of sleep and the week-long bender. To top it off, our credit card is maxed and I'm almost of of $1 bills. What should I do?
Signed,
Sick Puppy
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." Mark Twain
Sometimes I'm just driving along minding my own business and I suddenly feel like I'm in a neighborhood where I just don't belong. Did the Welcome Wagon always have flashing lights on top?
Dear Tipsy Dear Tipsy
you won't believe this
but my stomach makes noises
whenever I kiss.
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
but my stomach tells me
to write you instead.
Signed
Noisemaker
SAVE THE EARTH
It's the only Planet that has chocolate.
I'm a owner of a professional sports team and no one seems to like me. I try to be nice and bring in high price talent but my team stinks. I give lots of coaches a chance to coach the team. I give the fans the honor of going to the games and paying out the nose for everything but they still don't like me. I am a little short in height but I don't think I'm trying to overcompensate. How do I get people to like me and how do I get my football team to win?